Poking Fun at Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

The Simpsons is a brilliant TV-show. Here's Homer being challenged to face his doom with Brazilian  jiu-jitsu.

Just to be clear, in case there are any haters out there - I love BJJ and grappling (as well as The Simpsons). In fact I train BJJ myself.

MMA Madness, TV Style

TV - illustration from Wikipedia.org

Here comes some instant MMA madness, TV style for you.

And we apparently won't need the real life - and out there - nutty mixed martial arts fighters when we have the couch potato variety to carry the flag of splendid madness for all the world to see.

Enter this 19-year-old TV inspired MMA crazed nitwit from Phoenix, Arizona.

When he found that his girlfriend "didn't respect him" (I do wonder why...), he allegedly incorporated some MMA moves he had learned on TV to beat her up in front of her three children, before he choked her to unconsciousness.

When Snyder was interviewed by officers, he had the woman's cell phone and admitted to choking and hitting her because she was "disrespecting him," a police report said.
Snyder told officers he only meant to cause his girlfriend to lose consciousness for a "couple of seconds" and said he tried to mimic what he learned from a mixed martial arts television program, a police report said.

 No respect? That's bad ... that's really bad.

A No Contest Plea

Nevada -- A 30-year-old heavyweight MMA fighter, who became known when he was featured in the second season of "The Ultimate Fighter" on Spike TV, have reached an agreement with prosecutors to make a no-contest plea for allegedly attempting to sexually assault a woman in his Las Vegas home April 10, 2010.

The alleged incident unfolded when a woman filed a police report that the MMA fighter had sexually assaulted her, according to lasvegassun.com.

UFC Champ Punched Cab Driver

Arizona -- A former UFC heavyweight champion has been arrested after getting into a fight with a cab driver as well as police officers in Phoenix, according to myfoxphoenix.com.

The 6'2" and 235 lbs MMA fighter, who has had a brief stint on the 'Celebrity Rehab' TV reality show, allegedly refused to pay a taxi fare in full and later punched the driver when police officers arrived.

Police reported it took two three officers, one of them off-duty, to get the 33-year-old man under control. The fighter is now facing charges of assault and resisting arrest.

Trial for Reality Show Fighter

California -- A 28-year-old, former MMA fighter who was expelled from the "The Ultimate Fighter" reality TV show in 2006, is on trial for three counts of rape as well as other related charges.

The alleged incident occurred June 28, 2008, at the residence of his ex-girlfriend in Oxnard, according to vcstar.com.

Ex X Factor

As controversial Wagner Carrilho is booted from the X Factor show, expressandstar.com asks: "Is there really a market for out-of-tune, long-haired karate instructors with an eye for the ladies?"

Well, I was kind of wondering... Why not going back to being a long-haired karate instructor with an eye for the ladies? Just leave the singing for the showers, OK?

Bad Car Kung Fu

October 5, on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno, an embarrassed actor Terrence Howard explained how he ended up injuring himself with some impromptu car-fu.

Explaining the accident he said: "I'm sitting in the car and I'm thinking about the Bruce Lee days and all of the kung-fu stuff that people used to do, and I'm trying to drive and I made a fool of myself in the process," he said according to hollywood.com and tvsquad.com.

"You know how Bruce Lee used to do that little short one-inch punch? I'm thinking I can do that in front of the rear view mirror. That one-inch punch. That mirror hit back. (...)."

So now we know - boards don't hit back (or so said Bruce), but mirrors apparently do. Good to know :-)

Investigated by Child Protective Service

Indiana -- MTV is running a reality television series about teenage mothers called "Teen Mom". In a recent episode, one of the "stars" lost her temper during a fight with her ex fiancé, according to celebs.gather.com.

This is reportedly not the first time the MMA trained woman has been seen on TV hitting her daughter's father. The two young parents can allegedly be seen almost every week fighting and cursing in front of their baby daughter on the TV show.

As a result, police and Child Protective Services in the woman's hometown are investigating her for domestic abuse.

Kung Fu for Troubled Youth

UK -- A 'Karate Kid' inspired TV series given the working title 'Kung Fu Street Fighters' is going to be aired in Britain in 2011, according to guardian.co.uk.

The series is reportedly set to combat what they call a "hoodie culture and antisocial behavior" - using a British Shaolin munk and kung fu expert to mentor troubled inner-city youngsters.

Karate Grandads

UK -- Hard-hitting grandfathers Ernest Tuff (71) and Robert McCracken (74) train at a karate club in Ballymoney.

Sprightly Ernest trains every day and more often than not gets the better of men more than half his age, according to ballymoneytimes.co.uk.

Coleraine man Robert started training from scratch in 2001 after watching a TV interview with former Conservative leader William Hague.

"(...) He revealed he was a purple belt in judo," said Robert."I thought, if he can do that, why can't I?"

Honorary Black Belt?

In this article from moultrieobserver.com columnist Dwain Walden has a good point or two about flaunting your honorary black belt in karate.

He writes: "On a quiz program the other night, a contestant told the host that he held an honorary black belt in karate. My immediate conclusion was, I would rather have a real tire tool than an honorary black belt in karate."

My thought is exactly the same - why would anyone mention a good-for-nothing black belt like this? Sure it could be something to joke about amongst friends - but apart from that...

Me, I would rather be a certified idiot (which many will swear I am already) than an honorary anything, any day.

Human Weapon Host Arrested

California -- Jason Chambers, former host of 'The Human Weapon' (a well-known TV program running on History Channel) has reportedly been arrested in Los Angeles, according to transworldnews.com.

The 28-year-old TV actor and martial arts instructor was arrested November 11 on rape and drug charges. Authorities believe that the TV host used the drugs to commit the rape, according to reports.

Another Violent Fighter

UK -- A 32-year-old man - a "submission grappler" and trained in mixed martial arts according to himself - attacked a TV presenter in a London hotel room on March 28, 2008. The man reportedly realised the relationship was breaking down at that point, according to telegraph.co.uk.

The obsessive, controlling and eventually violent man - who was taking steroids - contacted the woman through her Facebook profile after having watched her TV shows for a period of time.

On March 31, the man told her "he had a present to give her". He then instructed a 20-year-old man to throw sulphuric acid in the woman's face as she left the flat to go to a cafe on March 31.

BJJ Rapist

UK -- A 24-year-old female TV presenter was raped and brutally injured in central London in March, according to people.co.uk

A 31-year-old BJJ fighter (called an MMA "expert" by media) from Romford, Essex, is charged with rape and assault causing actual bodily harm.

Hai Karate

I had somehow forgotten these old ads for the "ax on - ax off" after shave. How deadly, how cool! :-)

"New Hai Karate aftershave is so powerful, it drives women right out of their minds. That's why we have to put instructions on self-defense in every package."

I need this stuff (or perhaps it didn't work quite as well as advertised?) ...

War Machine Assault

The professional mixed martial fighter known as 'War Machine' has pleaded guilty to hitting and choking a man outside a fight club in San Diego, according to fox6.com.

26-year-old Jon Koppenhaver, who appeared on the Spike TV series "The Ultimate Fighter," could face up to a year in jail when he is sentenced February 7.

A withness testified at the preliminary hearing that he was surrounded by a group of men as he left the North Park club on September 2, 2007. The man said he was choked unconscious by one of the men and punched in the face while on the ground.

A Self-Taught Fan

I Wonder how often I've heard this phrase: "(...) he would have incapacitated the victim if he had to." :-)

Story:
UK -- A court was told that a 39-year-old self-taught kung fu fan who attacked a police officer with moves learned on the Internet blamed the TV programme Panorama, according to burnleycitizen.co.uk.

The man allegedly claimed he thought the officer was not allowed to stop and search him and was assaulting him.

The man, a "law-abiding" loner who has been learning karate from the Internet, then attacked the officer, putting his martial arts kicks into practice.

When later interviewed, he said he would have incapacitated the victim if he had to. But it was he who was incapacitated by the officer, and a member of public dashed to the officer's aid.

Real-Lee?

A huge fan, a tad vain, or just a real-lee big ego?

Story:
A Hong Kong man paid $5,000 on Saturday for a car license plate that read "BRUCELEE," after the late kung fu movie star.

"When I studied in England, foreigners would only know two Chinese people. One is Bruce Lee. The other is Chairman Mao (Zedong)," the buyer, identified only by his surname, Wong, said on a Hong Kong cable television station.

The Lee-inspired plate was among several vanity plates to be auctioned Saturday by the Hong Kong Transport Department, according to the department's Web site. The results of the auction weren't immediately available.

Source

'Brasilly' judo

Brazil -- Two Brazilian judo directors have been kicked out of the Panamerican Games for their part in a brawl following a match.

The Brazilian Olympic Committee added that the pair would be banned from all official events for the next four years, including the 2011 Panam Games in Guadalajara.

Trouble erupted after Cuba's Sheila Espinosa beat Brazilian Erika Miranda to win the gold medal in the women's 52 kilo category on Sunday.

Members of both delegations became involved in a fight along with a television crew, while spectators threw cups of water and plastic seats into the arena.

Source

Human Weapon

Well, I'll be darned - this sounds interesting!

From the History Channel:
"This summer The History Channel® embarks on a remarkable journey across the globe to reveal the history behind one of humankind’s most ancient skills: the art of hand-to-hand combat.

Viewers will join hosts Jason Chambers – mixed-martial-artist and professional fighter – and Bill Duff – former professional football player and wrestler – as they embark on a mission: to explore the history and practice of these time-honored combat arts.

Together, Jason and Bill fold back the rich historical and cultural layers of Muay Thai, Eskrima, Judo, Karate, Savate and more in the ultimate search of Human Weapon.

The series starts (reportedly) on Friday, July 20.