Confuse-Us #30

Dude... You got us all confused, even master Confuse-Us can't keep track; you really need to decide which scare tactic you're gonna use!

Are going to keep on crappling, claiming you are into the awesome kick-boxing stuff, or will you stick to the "I've got a knife and I'm willing to use it" verbally aggressive moves? You can't just jump around like that and expect others to take you seriously.

You will potentially end up confusing yourself if you don't get your act together. Here's a bit of advice: Stick to one main tactic at the time if you want results as a true Martial Arts Maniac.

And here's another heartfelt tip for you: If you know for a fact that every time you drink shots you get into a rage, it may perhaps be a good idea not to drink shots if you want to avoid being treated to police tactical intervention... just saying.

Image from Flickr - stop drinking, you're confusing everyone!

Stab Proof? Not Quite

There is apparently a large contingent of true blood, experimental (or you could make that simply: mental) martial arts nutcases world-wide - Russia being no exception.

When most martial artists are seriously boring and predictable individuals - like yours truly - there are a group of la-la land explorers ... people who will attempt to pull off the most unpredictable stunts without missing a beat or giving it a second thought.

What can I say but thank you ... from the bottom of my intrigued and safety conscious, 9-to-5 boring, regular guy type of soul!

Police have detained a resident of Russia's Rostov region for stabbing a friend who claimed his "abs" were strong enough to stop any knife thrust, the regional Interior Ministry said in a statement on Tuesday.
The suspect told police that during a party he and a friend decided to experiment with martial arts techniques. "The owner of the home got a big kitchen knife and asked his guest to stab him in the stomach. He refused at first, saying he was afraid he would kill the host. However, the host said that in his childhood he was involved in martial arts and the knife could not penetrate his abs," the statement said.
Unfortunately, that was not the case.

"Abs-olutely" freaking awesome. This has to come up at top in any Darwin Awards ranking, right?

Also, I can't help but wonder if a decent doze of alcohol may have been a contributing factor in the proceedings?

Booze, Cannabis and Martial Arts

Sparring and doing martial arts in state like this ... how utterly stupid.

New Zealand -- An evening with cannabis, home brew and martial arts Father's Day 2009 ended with a man stabbed to death in the West Coast settlement of Kumara.

A 55-year man is on trial for stabbing another man on September 7, 2009, inflicting a fatal knife wound to the heart, according to stuff.co.nz.

The case prosecutor said the defendant and the deceased were interested in martial arts and sparred on occasions, as they did that night.

A Martial Arts Maniac

UK -- A 20-year-old man, tagged a "martial arts maniac" (and for obvious reasons it seems) has been sentenced to seven and half years in jail for two sickening attacks.

The full-blown idiot left a party-goer with serious brain injuries when he delivered a kick to the head which prosecutors proclaimed "Jean Claude Van Damme would have been proud of."

While on bail for this attack, the sneering moron then stabbed a man twice after being kicked out of a martial arts competition.

While the judge at the Newcastle Crown Court trial outlined the injuries he inflicted, the young low-life was reportedly laughing and and smiling.

It is indeed reports like this from chroniclelive.co.uk which at times makes me deeply ashamed to belong to the martial arts fraternity.

MA Expert Extradited

Spain -- A 25-year-old British man, being described by media as being a martial arts expert and "very dangerous", has been extradited from Gibraltar to Spain where he's facing charges of three attempted homicides.

The violent incident reportedly occurred in the early hours of January 24, 2009 in Marbella. The British man allegedly stabbed three people. The street fight resulted in one individual being very seriously wounded and two persons suffering serious stab wounds, according to typicallyspanish.com.

He "Didn't Mean It"

UK -- An illegal immigrant -- originally from Iran -- told his murder trial how he "lost his temper" and "became mad" at a woman in Foleshill on September 3, 2008.

The man's ex-partner died after being stabbed 14 times during the attack at her Coventry home. The 29-year-old man admitted to killing the 34-year-old woman in front of her 7-year-old daughter, but he claimed he was provoked, according to coventrytelegraph.net .

The, who is nicknamed Jackie due to his resemblance to (martial arts movie star) Jackie Chan and because he holds a black belt in karate, told the jury he "never" meant to kill his ex-partner.

No Easy Target

UK -- A knife-wielding criminal probably got the shock of his life when he decided to burgle a 68-year-old man who turned out to be a martial arts expert.

Even though he was stabbed in the hand and slashed across his chest, Alan Thomas from Hunters Chase, Hutton – who's been teaching martial arts for 37 years – punched his almost 6ft attacker in the face before throwing him over his shoulder.

The 5'5" grandfather said "I think he thought I was an easy target, but he was wrong," according to thisistotalessex.co.uk

NYC Conductor Sentenced

New York -- The New York City subway conductor who fatally stabbed a man he claimed he took to be one of his attackers, has been sentenced to 15 years to life in prison.

A Manhattan Justice sentenced the martial arts-trained man for the murder of 40-year-old Flonarza Byas on January 10, 2008.

Prosecutors said the accused mistakenly thought Mr Byas was part of the group that attacked and stabbed him. They said the accused chased Byas, caught him and then stabbed him 15 times.

The 40-year-old conductor was convicted in May by a jury that rejected his self defense claim. His lawyer said his client did not intend to commit a crime, but mistakenly thought he was defending himself.

Wrong House

Germany -- A 25-year-old knife wielding burglar apparently picked the wrong place for a raid in Bremen; the owner was a judo black belt ... and he was willing to fight.

The intruder was rifling through jewellery in an upstairs bedroom in Bremen when he was caught and held by the 39-year-old householder, according to teletext.co.uk. The judoka then held the burglar until police arrived.

Ju Jitsu Conductor Charged

New York -- You probably do remember the case about the New York City subway conductor who fought back during an attempted mugging in January 2008 - stabbing and killing a bystander?

In August, the jujitsu-trained man was indicted on a murder charge. Authorities now claim the bystander was attempting to flee the chaotic scene, according to 1010wins.com.

Police had originally ruled out filing homicide charges, ruling the killing as an act of self-defense. However, prosecutors presented the case to a grand jury, which decided to indict the man.

Martial Arts Moves on Bus

Oregon -- A knife wielding man, who ignored a driver's request to put his knife away, continuing to perform 'martial arts moves' while continuing to pace the aisle of a deserted city bus in Eugene.

The driver managed to get out of the bus, and so did the man. The 'martial artist' began walking down the street with what looked like a dagger with a rather long blade, according to police. The weapon later proved to be a realistic looking toy, katu.com wrote in August.

When a Sheriff's Deputy ordered the man to drop the weapon, the man ran into traffic. Deputies were eventually able to use a bean bag shotgun to subdue the 25-year-old man, who allegedly was suffering from a mental disability.

Attempted Carjacking

Florida -- A 19-year-old jiu-jitsu student allegedly fought off a knife-wielding carjacker recently in the martial arts center's parking lot in Fort Lauderdale, according to miamiherald.com and police.

The teenager was in his car with the windows down outside the the center about 7 p.m. on Wednesday when a man, described as in his 20s, approached him. The perpetrator demanded his car while holding a knife to his neck.

"He's not getting inside my car," the teenager thought. He shoved the thief's arm away, knocking him backward, then threw the car in reverse - a reaction he said was "half-instinct, half-skill".

He Intervened

In Bangkok (Thailand), a former Muay Thai boxer has been jailed along with a woman he saved from a rape attempt, according to bangkokpost.com.

The 27-year-old man intervened to prevent the 40-year-old woman being raped on August 29, 2005.

The incident was viewed by the Criminal Court as an attempt to bludgeon a person to death. The man admitted he "lightly kicked" the would-be rapist. The woman admitted she had used a knife to slash the attacker's face several times after he collapsed after a series of blows from the Thai boxer.

Not an Expert?

Here we have a man who may have just a hint of a tiny, insignificant anger management problem. And since all martial arts people are the embodiment of absolute peace, human kindness and self-control (... so I am told) - this guy must have used a "karate-style" belt belonging to someone else to try and strangle his partner.
It is also quite obvious it is not his belt all the time the reporter doesn't mention anything about the man being an "expert". As we all know, anyone with a belt is a legitimate, totally deadly martial arts "expert"...

Story:
Louisiana -- Police received a call from a 27-year-old woman who claimed a 45-year-old man had beat her and kept her prisoner in his house, according to a slidellsentry.com report.

The Alabama woman told police she and the man had been dating since January 8 after meeting on the Internet. She had come to Slidell to spend the weekend with the man.

During her visit, the man and the woman allegedly began arguing over their relationship. The woman said he made threats to her if she did not change her ways. The woman felt ill and wanted to stop the argument, but the man reportedly continued, and the argument escalated.

The man allegedly took away the woman's purse that contained her keys and cellular phone and locked them in another room in the house. The woman told police she then went to the bedroom, sat down on the bed and started to cry.

The man came into the bedroom, she said, and allegedly hit her on the back of the head so hard that she momentarily lost consciousness.

When she recovered, she said the man was very angry, and his verbal threats became dangerous. While he was holding a knife on her, he allegedly threatened to kill the woman's entire family before he killed her.

Then the attacker allegedly used a karate-style belt to choke the woman.

Tiny Karate Hooligan

A tiny Romanian boy, 12 years old, has got his criminal career ended when he stabbed a teenager for his mp3 player and finally was deported from Hungary, according to news.monstersandcritics.com.

The pint-sized hooligan - who reportedly has never attended school and can't read or write - had allegedly already achieved "fame" on the Internet, appearing in a video in which he showed karate moves and freely admitted to living from theft and having his "home" in a Budapest underpass.

DNA Will Clear Me

Illinois -- Suntimes.com reports about a 45-year-old man who was convicted of stabbing two teenagers to death on January 18, 1977.

Then 14 years old, the boy was arrested at school. After being interrogated for a day and a half, he allegedly confessed to the crime but later recanted the confession. The case prosecutors claimed the teenager lost his temper while practicing karate with one of the victims.

He was paroled and got out of prison over a year ago, according to reports. He now asks for a DNA testing. "(...) then once and for all people will know the truth," the man says.

She Fought Off Knifeman

UK -- When a knife-wielding thug tried to mug a 20-year-old woman in a quiet Paisley street, he was left bleeding and bruised. The vicious attacker had bitten off more than he could chew - the young woman used to do kickboxing when she was a child.

During the frightening early morning attack, she took the knifeman by surprise when he attacked her from behind and pressed a blade to her throat cutting her.

The intended victim knew exactly how to tackle him during the ordeal in the West End of town, according to icrenfrewshire.icnetwork.co.uk.

Chan-Fu

In Australia, two young thugs held a pocketknife to the throat of 10-year-old Lana Welsh from Bentley Park, according to cairnspost.com.au.

However, the girl lashed out and sent her attackers fleeing with martial arts moves she learned from a Hollywood blockbuster.

The girl, who has never taken a self-defense class, said she had learned the karate moves by watching Shanghai Knights, starring Jackie Chan.

"I got him by the arm that had the knife and twisted it and threw him on to the ground," Lana said. The boy, aged about 12, was sprawled on the path, stunned by her fightback. "He threw the knife at my sister and ran," she said.

The Ninja Hunt

New York -- The Staten Island "ninja burglar", who is now thought to have robbed eighteen homes on the island in the past seven months, acquired his honorific in September, when he encountered a Dongan Hills resident named Phil Chiolo while raiding Chiolo's home.

He was dressed all in black, with a black face mask, Chiolo said, and he carried nun-chucks, which he used to club Chiolo in the chest, head, and shins before Chiolo was able to retaliate by stabbing at him with a steak knife.

Chiolo, who suffered a welt near his collarbone, said the other day that he is fine, but Staten Island has since gone ninja mad, with the burglar enjoying a kind of romantic outlaw notoriety. Other victims have likened him to a gazelle or a cat ("very athletic, very quiet, and very fast"), capable of scaling walls and leaping noiselessly out windows. (No one has heard him speak.)

Stabbed to Death

"A Black belt in martial arts"....?

Story:
A Foster Township man will face a charge of criminal homicide for allegedly stabbing his live-in girlfriend to death in October, a Pennsylvania judge have ruled.

The 31-year-old woman displayed a knife first while the two were fighting and he was wounded during the incident, according to the man. He said he soon lost control, stabbed her repeatedly and then called 911.

Though the man has said the stabbing occurred in self defense, prosecutors don't buy it. The man has a black belt in martial arts and admitted the woman wasn't holding the knife in a threatening way.