Well then, why don't you just start with a number of smaller pieces of metal and work your way up from there?
Quite possibly, that was what this certified martial arts nutcase from Xinjiang, located in north west China was contemplating when he decided to down no less than 15 pairs of nail clippers, 30 razor blades and a countless number of nails (!) before he - after a month of practicing - reportedly collapsed in serious pain.
It took Chinese surgeons five hours to remove the stuff from the man's stomach. Some of the metalwork had allegedly rusted into place.
A sheepish wanna-be stuntman - who supposedly was so impressed with the feats of kung fu sword swallowers that he tried to copy them - later said: "I didn't have any swords so I started small and used what I could get from the local shop."
I'm at loss for words - seriously...